I’m so stupid. I wish I were attractive. I hate my voice. I hate my hair; I wish it were curly, or I wish it were straight. I don’t like my lips, or my nose is too big.
Does any of this sound familiar?
Even if you haven’t used the same rhetoric, I’m sure you can think of times when you spoke negatively of yourself. For sure, I have done my fair share of degrading self-talk. I used to hate everything about myself—my hair, my eyes, and my smile, etc. Of course, childhood trauma played a role in my self-image. Likewise, I also did not take classes on loving myself as a child- most of us did not.
As an adult, I realized that critical self-talk was a learned behavior from my childhood. Women in my home were not celebrated – we were molested, raped, and beaten. We were belittled and degraded. I did not learn about self-love until I became an adult; the concept was foreign to me. It was natural to shrink and downplay who we were. Often we learn how to love ourselves as adults, and that is ok. We cannot change the past; we can learn from it. Remember, we are no longer victims.
I’m not trying to point fingers or exert blame on anyone. How can anyone teach something they had never learned themselves?
The great news is that we are adults; we are responsible for our healing. It is possible to unlearn destructive language and develop healthy self-love practices. That’s right; practices! Positive self-talk is something we choose to practice every day. Every day may not be identical. Some days will be easier than others. Honestly, when you feel at your worst, you need to speak life over yourself even more.
“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it and indulge it will eat its fruit and bear the consequences of their words.” Proverbs 18:21 AMP
Basically, what we speak will either grow into rotten or healthy fruit. If we continue with destructive self-loathing words- we are speaking death. If we speak lovely and kind words about ourselves, we shall reap the benefits- this is speaking life.
The decision is yours. I encourage you to meditate on Proverbs 18:21 and think about what type of fruit you want to produce in your life. Please do not be discouraged if you do not see a change in how you view yourself right away. All fruit starts in seed form; trust that you are growing every day.
Be Blessed. God loves you.