September 27 2020

Forgiveness…

Hold on…. Don’t exit the blog just yet.

I know for some people, forgiveness is a dirty little word. But in reality, it’s one of the most potent ingredients that solidifies your healing. I’m not trying to push you into something that you may not be ready to do. Trust me; I know forgiveness is a process, and you cannot put a time table on when you are ready to let go of the internal poison.

You may be wondering… How do you forgive the person or people that have sexually violated you? How can you move past the pain and reach acceptance, which eventually leads to forgiveness? It’s not an easy task. Deciding how to forgive your abuser is just as difficult as facing the pain from such a traumatic experience.

Several men in my life abused me, and I hated them all- the mention of their names made me angry and full of rage. I was bitter, and I wanted to retaliate. I was broken; I believed if I could inflict pain on them somehow, I would feel better. That was a lie from the devil. He wanted me to stay in bondage to the pain and torment of my past. He wanted me to relive every dark moment. In contrast, God wanted me to forgive because my sins are forgiven. God desired to heal and bring me to a place of wholeness.

We don’t forgive people because they deserve it. We forgive them because Jesus paid the price for all sin and offenses; our sins have been forgiven. We cannot forgive them in our strength. We need the power of the Holy Spirit to help us forgive the deep-rooted pain that we have carried around in our souls for far to long. The great news is that if we pray and ask God to help us, he will honor our desire because forgiveness is his will for our lives.

I challenge you to pray and seek God for guidance. He loves you and wants to restore you. With the Holy Spirit’s help, I have learned to forgive the men that abused me, but I understand that forgiveness happens in stages. Trust God on your journey.

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as  Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:32 (NIV)

Be blessed. God loves you!

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August 8 2020

Hi Beautiful!

I pray that you had a chance to read last week’s post! If you read it, I pray that it blessed you.

I just listened to one of my favorite songs by Natalie Grant, Clean. I am familiar with the dirty, unclean feeling we experience after sexual trauma and throughout the healing process. It’s very uncomfortable, and sometimes it’s easier to disassociate to avoid that feeling. I get it.

I tried many times to purify myself in various ways, internally and physically. The results were always fleeting. Time and time again, I was left disappointed. I felt like a failure because I could not figure out the perfect formula to annihilate the humility and shame of the dirtiness that raged inside. I felt like my showers were not long enough, the water was not hot enough, and the soup did not contain the ingredients to wash away that filth.

Jesus is the only one that can make us clean. When I started going through the deliverance process, I was cleansed from that horrible feeling. If you don’t believe in Jesus, I know all of this may sound too good to be true, but what do you have lose. I’m not a person who makes many promises, but I can promise you that he will cleanse you if you allow Jesus to come into your heart. Jesus will heal you and give you a brand new life. Take a chance!

Please click the link and listen to ‘Clean.’ Please read the words as a love letter to you from Jesus. He cleansed me; he can do the same for you.

https://youtu.be/4S1ivtB2Pxk – Natalie Grant- Clean

Be Blessed! God loves you.

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August 1 2020

We overcome by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of our testimony.

Sisters, how are you doing?

I pray that all is well with you. I have been thinking about my life as a whole. Like most of us, I have been through hell and back again. But I am grateful for my journey. I have been raped, abused, rejected, and degraded by people that were supposed to love me. But I realize the same things happened to them. History repeats itself if no one takes a stand. We can be the ones to take a stand for our family and future generations.

I am grateful for the years that I spent in therapy. It was a difficult but necessary stage in my healing process. It is essential to process and accept the trauma that we have endured. I started to grow weary of talking about the same things week after week. I depended on my 12-pound weighted blanket, and sometimes I needed to drink sleepytime tea to get a good night’s rest. My mind was consumed with the past, but I thought this was ‘normal.’ I thought where I was, was good enough. I was determined to heal from my past, and I felt I had reached the pinnacle of my healing. I did not know I was settling for less. I was using coping skills, but real healing was available to me. The same is true for you.

As I mentioned before in a previous post, I am a Christian. I believe that God sent his one and only son Jesus Christ to die on the cross in my place. I am getting ready to share something with you that may sound shocking, farfetched, and frightening. But I want you to know that you do not have to stay in your current condition.

Jesus is a healer; he healed me.

My Testimony:

I started a new position and ended up befriending one of my co-workers. He invited me to attend his Church. He began to share that his Church was a deliverance ministry. Yes, a deliverance ministry. I was a Christian, and I attended Church on most Sundays, but I was not familiar with deliverance. Deliverance means salvation, redemption, and rescue.

Let me be frank- deliverance is the process of being set free from demonic forces or demons. All of our lives are affected by the spiritual realm of light and darkness. Trauma is one of the many entryways for demonic forces to enter into our bodies and reak havoc on our lives, emotions, and mental health. Demons are powerful, but they have to submit to the authority and power of Jesus Christ.

I was afraid to attend this Church; I now understand that the demons controlled my emotions with fear. I dealt with suicidal ideations and felt like I just wanted to end it all. I did not want to live anymore. Out of desperation, I reached out to my friend, and we arranged for me to attend his Church. In hindsight, I know that God was orchestrating everything to work together for my good. I remember the night I was preparing to attend service, I was depressed, hopeless, suicidal, tormented by the memories of the past, and I felt out of control.

I arrived at the Church, we worshiped God, and it was pretty much a standard service until we transitioned into the deliverance portion. The pastor preached for a few minutes. I had never met the pastor before, and he did not know anything about me. My friend did not know my struggles, either. The pastor prayed for a few people, and the power of the Holy Spirit forced demons to loose people from bondage. I was standing at the altar, and the pastor placed his hand on my forehead the power of the Holy Spirit was so strong that I fell to the floor- I received deliverance from suicide, the pain of abuse, mental torment from the abuse, depression, and the fear of abuse. Those demons had to submit to the power of God, and I was set free! I want the same for you!

That night the Lord healed and delivered me and changed my life forever. I am sharing this with you because I want you to know that the same deliverance power is available to you. You do not have to let your past destroy your life. I am a living example of what God can do if we allow him. If you have any questions, please email me at unveiledfacesmovement@gmail.com. 

I would love to pray for you and lead you to the Church that God uses to heal and restore the lives of so many women like you and me.

Be Blessed. God loves you!

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July 25 2020

Say a little prayer

Hey Ladies!

Today I feel lead to do something a little different. When I first began the healing journey, I used to search the Bible for scriptures that would speak life into the dry and dark places of my soul. I would then turn the scriptures into prayers and make them personal. I know a lot is happening in the world, and some of us may be suffering in various ways. Psalm 91 is one of my favorites; it speaks protection and deliverance over your life. Please read aloud and believe in your heart that God hears, and he will restore you. Have faith, and receive his love and grace.

Dear Lord, your word says…

He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High
Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.

Lord, I am seeking you for protection. I am broken and abused. I believe you are a healer. Please restore me, oh God. I am desperate for your presence in my life.

Father, your word says…

If I put my trust in you. Surely you shall deliver me from the snare of the fowler
And from the perilous pestilence.
You shall cover me with your feathers,
And under your wings I shall take refuge;
Your truth shall be my shield and buckler.

Lord, I am disturbed in my mind. Please! Help me, I am desperate for your peace. Lord, I decree and declare…

 I shall not be afraid of the terror by night,
Nor of the arrow that flies by day,
Nor of the pestilence that walks in darkness,
Nor of the destruction that lays waste at noonday.

Father, I need your rest. My dreams haunt me at night,

But you said…

 A thousand may fall at my side,
And ten thousand at my right hand;
But it shall not come near me.
Only with my eyes shall I look,
And see the reward of the wicked. Because I have made the Lord, who is my refuge,
Even the Most High, my dwelling place,

Lord, I seek your face. Please have mercy on me. Bless me with your grace. Lord, God, I decree and declare…

No evil shall befall me,
Nor shall any plague come near my dwelling;
For you shall give your angels charge over me,
To keep me in all my ways.
In their hands they shall bear me up,
Lest I dash my foot against a stone.
I shall tread upon the lion and the cobra,
The young lion and the serpent I shall trample underfoot. “Because you have set your love upon Me, therefore you will deliver me;
You will set me on high, because I know your name.
 I shall call upon you, and you will answer me;
You will be with me in trouble;
You will deliver me and honor me.

Lord, I am waiting patiently.

I believe…

With long life you will satisfy me,
And show me your salvation.”

In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Be Blessed! God loves you.

*Source- Psalm 91 NKJV

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July 19 2020

EmOTiOnS…

I hope you’re doing well.

I have been thinking about ‘emotions.’ Emotions can be tricky because sometimes we are in bondage to our feelings, and other times we need to allow ourselves to feel with the intention to heal.

This week I had to face some hard emotions about my past. It was painful, but I surrendered those feelings to God, and he helped me walk through the feelings I was experiencing. I would like to believe that I am 100% healed from the trauma I experienced as a child, but I understand that healing takes place in stages. For instance, God delivered me from anxiety; I no longer need to sleep with a weighted blanket to feel safe. On the other hand, I’m still learning how to trust people and deciding what role I want them to play in my life.

We have to remember that healing is not linear; this understanding reduces the risk of perfectionism. Understanding how the healing process works can give us a sense of relief, as we make decisions to move forward and actively take our lives back. A life well-lived is not a perfect life. Life will never be perfect, but healing is available.

I encourage you to cry out to God in all honesty. Confess your emotions and feelings, and allow God to comfort you when you need it the most. Allow God to heal your innermost broken parts. I promise he will meet you where you are. Please don’t be ashamed of your struggles. Release it into His loving care today.

Psalms 34:18 says, The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

God cares about you, and he loves you more than your mind could ever comprehend. Allow his love to heal you. Draw near to him, and he will draw near to you.

Be blessed! God loves you.

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July 12 2020

Sharing my thoughts…

I am in the process of making life-changing decisions, and honestly, it has not been easy. In the past, I needed others to make my decisions. And my lack of confidence opened the door to everyone’s opinion and judgment. As survivors, it’s normal for us to struggle with making decisions and trust that we are capable of becoming deciders. Trauma taught us that our needs and rights do not matter.
That is a lie!
We have to get to a place where we can trust the woman that we are becoming. I know it can be frightening; we may even feel insecure at times, but we must develop strong decision-making skills. Learn how to keep the promises that you make. That is a sure-fire way to build trust within. Understand that you’re word means something. Developing self-trust will build your integrity and confidence.
We can walk through this process together. It is not easy, but we got this!
What decisions do you need to make?
Pray and have faith that God is leading and guiding you.

Be blessed!  God loves you.

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July 5 2020

Checking in!

We spend a lot of time and energy healing and recovering from our past. Trauma work is hard and draining. I can remember feeling like I was on autopilot going through the motions of life, but I did not know myself.


How well do you know yourself? Have you reached a place where you no longer pretend to be who you thought you had to be? I purchased a self-discovery journal. The journal has 121 thought-provoking questions for you to ask yourself. Some of the questions are uncomfortable, but they make you think on a deeper level.

Purchased on Amazon

Here are a few questions from the journal:

  1. What are your safest memories?
  2. Do you like people?
  3. Do you believe in God?
  4. Do you hate anyone?
  5. If you lost everything, what would you do, and where would you go?
  6. What are the things that make you feel safe?

I highly recommend this self-discovery journal. I am learning new things about myself, and I want the same for you.  Be honest; there are no right or wrong answers.

Enjoy your self-discovery process!

Be blessed. God loves you.

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June 28 2020

Learn how to say, no!

I struggled for years with people-pleasing. I thought I was supposed to put other people’s needs before my own. I felt like my life was not worth nurturing and developing. People ran over me- sadly, I have to admit I was a doormat. I did not have a backbone. I said yes to every request and volunteered for every event because I was afraid of what people would think of me if I said no.

I would say yes, but I would be boiling on the inside and filled with resentment. I felt undervalued and unappreciated. I would panic internally, wondering how I was going to complete my errands and personal commitments. My therapist helped me unpack the reason behind my people-pleasing. My behavior was rooted in the molestation I experienced as a child. I felt like if I were compliant or “good,” I would not be abused, of course, that was not the truth. 

 I know this can be difficult for us because we have said “no” to unwanted sexual contact. Unfortunately, saying no in those moments meant nothing to our perpetrators. We are not the blame for the injustice against us. Please do not punish yourself; It’s never too late to exercise a new muscle.

We have the right to say no in any situation that we choose; our voice matters. I consider myself to be a recovering people-pleaser. You are going to be uncomfortable once you start declining requests and invitations. Developing new skills can be challenging and scary at first.

If you struggle with people-pleasing before you say yes, ask yourself these few questions.

  • Why am I saying yes?
  • Am I afraid to say no?
  • Am I betraying my needs to seem like a “nice person?”
  • Is the request reasonable?

Most likely, you will experience backlash from people that were used to you appeasing them; that’s normal. But that is not your concern; they have to adjust to the new you. And that’s ok, but don’t give up. You are worth it. People-pleasing is a defective survival strategy. Once you master this new skill, you will learn how to make decisions for yourself. You will no longer feel like you need the approval of others. I’m sure most of us are familiar with the phrase- No is a complete sentence.

Be blessed. God loves you.

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June 21 2020

Hey Sis!

I pray that this post finds you well. I have been thinking about how unpredictable life is and the importance of making the most of every day. We have six months left in the year, can you believe it! This year has been wild and crazy. The question is- how are we planning to tackle the remainder of the year? I know this year did not go according to our well thought out plans. We did not expect COVID-19, but if you are reading this post, you still have a heartbeat.

Spend time reflecting about the first half of the year. What did you learn about yourself? What hard truth did you have to face? Are you grateful? What joy did you rekindle during this time of social distancing?

The truth is, we still have a responsibility to live even though life does not always go according to our plan.

Look at the bare bones of your life and think about what is within your reach. What goals can you achieve that does not require you to put yourself at risk of contracting COVID-19. Please don’t allow the first half of the year to derail all of your progress. You have come so far on your healing journey, and I am so proud of you. Keep going. I know it gets hard. It’s still hard for me some days. And some days, I feel exhausted, but I think about you and the privilege I have to speak into your life.

I spent years in therapy, wondering why I was fighting so hard. I would often think about women that have experienced the same trauma as me, and I wanted to help you, and that is what kept me in the fight. My point is, you are someones why, too. Someone is looking at how you handle life. Someone admires your courage and resilience. Someone needs to see a woman live her life well even after she endured unspeakable trauma.

But first, you have to make sure you are full and whole on the inside. Figure out your reason why. Please don’t give up on 2020, make the second half of the year count.

Be blessed! God loves you.

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June 14 2020

Dear younger self…

Do you ever think about the girl you used to be? I do. In the past, when I thought about my younger self, I had feelings of disgust. I felt shame, embarrassment, and self-hatred. All of those emotions were the effect of years of abuse and emotional trauma. It’s difficult to see yourself as something other than a trauma survivor, but it’s not impossible. 

Let’s do an exercise! It may be uncomfortable, but we grow and become healthier when we step outside of our comfort zone. It’s so easy to bash ourselves and think negatively of ourselves, but let’s flip the script. I want you to take out a sheet of paper or your journal and write a letter of gratitude to your younger self. What ways can you honor yourself? It doesn’t have to be a long letter, just a few sentences or a couple of paragraphs. 

I’ll share my letter with you.  

Dear younger self,

I know life has been hard, and you endured much trauma. But today, I honor you for being strong and vulnerable at the same time. You were strong enough to confront the trauma and brave enough to be real, raw, and honest about your feelings. Your courage has inspired me to help others that have experienced sexual violence. It’s incredible to me that by the grace of God, you were able to forgive the people that molested and raped you. I honor you for being willing to let go of the hate, bitterness, and anger that was in your heart. I love that you have a zeal for life, and most of the time, you see the glass half full. Thank you for all the years of journaling and praying, even when you didn’t want to. 

Thank you for never giving up. I respect you, and I love you. There is no other person I would rather be. You are beautiful, and I love your personality. One of the best decisions you made was to stop putting chemicals in your hair and allowing your natural hair to glorify God, lol. I love that you stopped hiding behind the veil of shame and self-hatred. 

Please accept this letter of gratitude with humility and grace. Continue to grow into the person that God has created you to be because you are more than a trauma survivor. 

Now, your turn!

I pray that you will take the time to love yourself and offer sweet words of kindness. I have learned that if I don’t pour into me, I won’t have anything to give to you from the overflow. Our bodies have been through a lot, and you don’t have to be embarrassed to honor yourself. On days when you don’t feel good about yourself, I encourage you to refer back to your letter and remind yourself that you are a fantastic person. We are not accepting ourselves despite the trauma, but because God’s word says:

13 For you formed my inward parts;

you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.

14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Wonderful are your works;

my soul knows it very well.

Psalm 139:13-14 (ESV)

I would love to read your letter of gratitude to your younger self. If you feel comfortable sharing, please email me at unveiledfacesmovement@gmail.com

I will not share your letter or personal information.

Be blessed! God loves you.

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