Interpersonal Healing

As survivors, one of the most significant challenges is learning how to trust again. Often the people we thought we could trust were the very ones that violated us. It has been challenging for me to trust people. I lived behind a brick wall laced with an electric fence that would electrocute anyone that tried to get close to me. I learned how to hold people off at a distance; if anyone came within 6 feet of me, I became anxious and abruptly ended all communication.

I practiced social distancing before it became a national mandate. My desire for peace turned into a quarantine lifestyle. I had to be honest with myself. I reached a place on my healing journey where I realized I was lonely and unfulfilled. I prayed to God and asked for interpersonal healing; he answered my prayers!

It is essential to use wisdom and place people in the proper category in our lives. Still, if we allow fear to manipulate our behavior, it will control and destroy our relationships. I read tons of books that reinforced that we cannot heal in isolation. I was determined to be the exception to that rule. We must develop healthy social skills and learn how to set boundaries. How can we set boundaries if we avoid relationships?

Believe it or not, since people wounded us, we need healthy connections to aid in the healing process. I encourage you to look at things from a different perspective. Take a moment to think about your relationships. If you live life through the lens of distrust, you could miss out on the most genuine, healthy, and authentic relationships. I’m speaking from experience.

I allowed God to use specific people to demolish the brick walls and the electric fence. I admit, I still have residue from the construction site, but God is building a beautiful white picket fence with a guard, also known as the Holy Spirit. I am learning how to develop healthy connections. More importantly, I am learning how to trust again.

None of this is easy, but it is worth it. All of this takes a great deal of time and patience. I do not know where you are on your healing journey; if you are not ready to allow yourself to open up to healthy and fruitful relationships, that is ok. Pray and ask God to help you.

Allow this post to give you hope that one day you will trust again. One day you will experience the joys of being loved well by a great friend, and you will be capable of reciprocating that love too.

Be blessed. God loves you.