As a little girl, I was fascinated by watching my mom put chemical relaxers in her hair. She wanted straight and sleek hair. As I grew older, I outgrew ponytails and begged my mom to put a relaxer on my hair.

I wanted to be like her! She declined my requests for several months, saying things like:

“you don’t need a perm.”

“you are too young.”

“your hair is pretty already.”

Nevertheless, I would not let up. I guess she grew tired of my grumbling and pleading; she gave in. I was thirteen when I got my first chemical treatment. My hair was long and bone straight. I loved it! I could not stop looking in the mirror at my flowing tresses.

But then something happened. I grew tired of maintaining chemically treated hair.

I started to desire curly hair. It became an obsession. I put rollers in my hair and sat under the dryer for hours to have curly hair. I wore curly-haired wigs and would do anything to manipulate my hair to have a curl pattern.

And one day…

I stood in front of the mirror, examined my hair, and decided to cut out the perm. I had tons of new growth since I kept my hair in cornrows.

To my surprise, my natural hair started to curl up as I continued to allow the perm to grow out! I had naturally curly hair all along! My curls are free and flowing with grace and elegance. Each coil displayed its uniqueness.

This is a true story, lol.

In all seriousness. How often do we search outside ourselves, looking for something we already possess? We look for love in all the wrong places and often end up wounded. We look for the next big thing or event to help us feel good about who we are. In hindsight, if I had taken the time to get to know myself, examine my unique qualities, and embrace my God-given beauty, I would have saved myself years of trying to fulfill a desire God had already blessed me with.

I am not making light of your desires, but I suggest you get to know yourself. I’d like you to learn how to embrace what makes you peculiar.

Allow yourself to love who you are before you jump the gun searching for love, acceptance, and curly hair 🙂

You may realize that once you learn to accept yourself, you will no longer run the race looking for acceptance and affirmation from other people. Allow God to affirm you and be who you were created to be. You may be surprised by who you are!

Be blessed. God loves you!