April 5
2021
Help! I’m drowning!
Have you ever felt like you were drowning in emotions and traumatic thoughts? There was a time in my life when it seemed as if no matter how fast I tried to swim to avoid the overwhelming waves of emotions, I was constantly overtaken by the current. My feelings left me drenched and gasping for air, yet I was desperate to make it to the shore (healing).
I would reevaluate my stride and make necessary adjustments. Did I need to pray more fervently? Was my therapist a good match? Did I need to update my reading material?
Then I would take a deep breath and start my journey with my new plan.
For a moment, I felt confident with my newfound skills. Still, I was unprepared for what happened next- my soul erupted. Every traumatic thought created all the elements needed for a perfect tsunami. I tried to silence the thoughts with food, shopping, and traveling- I became desperate to survive the whirlwind of thoughts that crashed against my amygdala.
However, then again, it was too much to bear.
The tsunami of emotions and thoughts had overtaken me, but simultaneously, pushed me closer to the shore (Jesus). Nevertheless, again, I was left exhausted with few options. Somehow I had to gather the strength to continue. It was a vicious and exhausting cycle.
I started to contemplate suicide – Often, when we have those thoughts, we do not want to die; the truth is we do not want to feel the pain. We would rather be numb than face the broken reality of our lives.
I knew I had come too far to give up.
Jesus became my rock amid the storm. He became my life raft. When the waves of emotions and traumatic thoughts threatened to drown me, I stood on God’s word. When I felt like I could not handle another crashing wave, I cried out to Jesus in prayer. I allowed him to save me and guide me safely to shore. I made peace with the past, and I became one with Jesus. The Bible says that Jesus is the living well that we will thirst no more if we drink of him.
Please say yes to Jesus and allow him to be your savior- your life raft. You do not have to handle the storms of life alone. Place your hope in Jesus. You will not regret it.
Be Blessed. God loves you!