February 15 2021

Valley Of Emotions

Have you ever felt a plethora of feelings and emotions simultaneously? Joy and sadness coupled with depression mixed with a sense of hope and faith that things would change for the better one day. I’m sure someone can relate. I remember the day of this photoshoot; I was vulnerable and broken; it was a hot summer day, August 30th, to be exact.

I held myself tightly as the photographer snapped away, all while curious spectators gathered and took photos of me on their cell phones. No one truly understood how I felt internally, but this photo shoot was a life-defining moment. I promised myself that I would heal – I titled it “My Healing Journey.” Little did I know if we suppress one emotion, then we suppress every emotion. If we do not allow ourselves to feel the pain, we will never experience joy.

On the day of the photoshoot, I was still processing past traumas.

For the photographer to capture my testimony, I had to feel the past’s painful emotions, which was not too difficult to accomplish. I had an array of feelings – Hopelessness, despair, and depression. I may look broken and afraid, but shockingly, I also felt brave. I felt brave because I chose to walk through the valley of the shadow of death – Emotionally, I was bruised, but I did not allow the evil of my past to stop me from moving forward because I knew that God was with me. God blessed me with a measure of faith to believe that I could overcome anything.

Please don’t allow your self-perception to stifle your healing process. What we deem as broken, God sees as beautiful. Hold yourself tightly, trust God and let Him lead you from the darkness of your past into his glorious light. Allow yourself to feel again – feel the pain, and then allow God to overwhelm you with his presence and joy.

Be Blessed. God loves you.
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February 7 2021

The Road Less Traveled

Wow, it’s already been a week since my last post. It is my joy to check in with you. I pray that you are doing well. I am doing fine – it has been an interesting week, but God is on the throne. Just like you, I am still on my healing journey. Let me remind you that I post each week to encourage myself.

Contrary to what I initially believed, healing is not simple, pleasurable, or for the faint of heart. It takes much courage to face our past pain while still trying to live in the moment and balance everyday life. Sometimes it is necessary to take a moment and reflect on how far we have come on our journey. Had it not been for Jesus, I would not be where I am today.

As I mentioned in a previous post, I was not a Christian when I was sexually assaulted. The trauma led me to Christ; for that reason, I do not regret the things of the past. However, if I’m honest, this journey has not been comfortable; it has been quite challenging.

Early on, I had no idea what it meant to accept Jesus into my heart. I was a broken woman, and I needed a savior. My life seemed dark; I was hopeless. Much like this photo, my life was like an obstacle course. My path was not clear- similar to the debris and the falling branches in the image, I could not see past all the pain and trauma that threatened my existence.

But God is gracious; I praise him for his mercy. Lord, I thank you! Every day you give me new mercy, refresh my soul; you lead me in the paths of righteousness for your namesake. Please feel my heart; God desires to do the same for you. My life is far from perfect, and I will be healing until I meet Jesus in Heaven, but my path is a lot brighter than it used to be.

If your life feels more like the first photo, cry out to God and ask for his saving grace and mercy. You will be amazed. Allow God to change the landscape of your life. The decision is up to you; please choose wisely.

Be Blessed. God loves you!

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February 1 2021

Throwing Stones

6 They said this to test Him, hoping that they would have grounds for accusing Him. But Jesus stooped down and began writing on the ground with His finger. 7 However, when they persisted in questioning Him, He straightened up and said, “He who is without [any] sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” John 8:6-7

Have you ever been judged or criticized? Or were you the one diminishing someone else’s character? Truthfully, we are all guilty of speaking ill of someone. 

Think about it… 

It is easy to judge and make assumptions when you see a promiscuous young lady partying in the club, allowing men to disrespect her body. We may even speak negatively about her behavior.  The problem with rash judgment is we are not familiar with her history. We have no idea what caused this type of behavior.

Maybe she was molested as a child, and she never developed healthy boundaries, self-respect, or self-esteem. Perhaps she modeled the behavior of those in her life. It could be she never learned the value of being a woman. We all have done things that we wish we could erase from our memory; Lord knows I have. 

The same is true for the woman in the scripture. You see, she was caught in the act of adultery; people brought her before Jesus and demanded her to be stoned to death. Fortunately, Jesus looks at the heart of a person, not necessarily the behavior. Understand, I’m not disregarding this behavior or sin, for that matter. 

My point is, Jesus is our savior, and he forgives our sins. If you have done things that you are not proud of, repent, express your sorrows to Jesus and turn away from your sin. Ask for forgiveness and receive it by faith. Forgive those who judged you, and forgive yourself for judging others as well.

Please take note that Jesus said, “He who is without [any] sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” The people walked away from the oldest to the youngest because no one was without sin.

Let’s be mindful of how we treat one another. A broken woman needs love, not judgment.  Allow Jesus to restore and turn your life around. 

Be blessed. God loves you. 

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