Hold on…. Don’t exit the blog just yet.

I know for some people, forgiveness is a dirty little word. But in reality, it’s one of the most potent ingredients that solidifies your healing. I’m not trying to push you into something that you may not be ready to do. Trust me; I know forgiveness is a process, and you cannot put a time table on when you are ready to let go of the internal poison.

You may be wondering… How do you forgive the person or people that have sexually violated you? How can you move past the pain and reach acceptance, which eventually leads to forgiveness? It’s not an easy task. Deciding how to forgive your abuser is just as difficult as facing the pain from such a traumatic experience.

Several men in my life abused me, and I hated them all- the mention of their names made me angry and full of rage. I was bitter, and I wanted to retaliate. I was broken; I believed if I could inflict pain on them somehow, I would feel better. That was a lie from the devil. He wanted me to stay in bondage to the pain and torment of my past. He wanted me to relive every dark moment. In contrast, God wanted me to forgive because my sins are forgiven. God desired to heal and bring me to a place of wholeness.

We don’t forgive people because they deserve it. We forgive them because Jesus paid the price for all sin and offenses; our sins have been forgiven. We cannot forgive them in our strength. We need the power of the Holy Spirit to help us forgive the deep-rooted pain that we have carried around in our souls for far to long. The great news is that if we pray and ask God to help us, he will honor our desire because forgiveness is his will for our lives.

I challenge you to pray and seek God for guidance. He loves you and wants to restore you. With the Holy Spirit’s help, I have learned to forgive the men that abused me, but I understand that forgiveness happens in stages. Trust God on your journey.

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as  Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:32 (NIV)

Be blessed. God loves you!