Hold on…. Don’t exit the blog just yet.

I know for some people, forgiveness is a dirty little word. But in reality, it’s one of the most potent ingredients that solidifies your healing. I’m not trying to push you into something that you may not be ready to do. Trust me; I know forgiveness is a process, and you cannot put a time table on when you are ready to let go of the internal poison.

You may be wondering… How do you forgive the person or people that have sexually violated you? How can you move past the pain and reach acceptance, which eventually leads to forgiveness? It’s not an easy task. Deciding how to forgive your abuser is just as difficult as facing the pain from such a traumatic experience.

Several men in my life abused me, and I hated them all- the mention of their names made me angry and full of rage. I was bitter, and I wanted to retaliate. I was broken; I believed if I could inflict pain on them somehow, I would feel better. That was a lie from the devil. He wanted me to stay in bondage to the pain and torment of my past. He wanted me to relive every dark moment. In contrast, God wanted me to forgive because my sins are forgiven. God desired to heal and bring me to a place of wholeness.

We don’t forgive people because they deserve it. We forgive them because Jesus paid the price for all sin and offenses; our sins have been forgiven. We cannot forgive them in our strength. We need the power of the Holy Spirit to help us forgive the deep-rooted pain that we have carried around in our souls for far to long. The great news is that if we pray and ask God to help us, he will honor our desire because forgiveness is his will for our lives.

I challenge you to pray and seek God for guidance. He loves you and wants to restore you. With the Holy Spirit’s help, I have learned to forgive the men that abused me, but I understand that forgiveness happens in stages. Trust God on your journey.

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as  Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:32 (NIV)

Be blessed. God loves you!

I pray that you had a chance to read last week’s post! If you read it, I pray that it blessed you.

I just listened to one of my favorite songs by Natalie Grant, Clean. I am familiar with the dirty, unclean feeling we experience after sexual trauma and throughout the healing process. It’s very uncomfortable, and sometimes it’s easier to disassociate to avoid that feeling. I get it.

I tried many times to purify myself in various ways, internally and physically. The results were always fleeting. Time and time again, I was left disappointed. I felt like a failure because I could not figure out the perfect formula to annihilate the humility and shame of the dirtiness that raged inside. I felt like my showers were not long enough, the water was not hot enough, and the soup did not contain the ingredients to wash away that filth.

Jesus is the only one that can make us clean. When I started going through the deliverance process, I was cleansed from that horrible feeling. If you don’t believe in Jesus, I know all of this may sound too good to be true, but what do you have lose. I’m not a person who makes many promises, but I can promise you that he will cleanse you if you allow Jesus to come into your heart. Jesus will heal you and give you a brand new life. Take a chance!

Please click the link and listen to ‘Clean.’ Please read the words as a love letter to you from Jesus. He cleansed me; he can do the same for you.

https://youtu.be/4S1ivtB2Pxk – Natalie Grant- Clean

Be Blessed! God loves you.

Sisters, how are you doing?

I pray that all is well with you. I have been thinking about my life as a whole. Like most of us, I have been through hell and back again. But I am grateful for my journey. I have been raped, abused, rejected, and degraded by people that were supposed to love me. But I realize the same things happened to them. History repeats itself if no one takes a stand. We can be the ones to take a stand for our family and future generations.

I am grateful for the years that I spent in therapy. It was a difficult but necessary stage in my healing process. It is essential to process and accept the trauma that we have endured. I started to grow weary of talking about the same things week after week. I depended on my 12-pound weighted blanket, and sometimes I needed to drink sleepytime tea to get a good night’s rest. My mind was consumed with the past, but I thought this was ‘normal.’ I thought where I was, was good enough. I was determined to heal from my past, and I felt I had reached the pinnacle of my healing. I did not know I was settling for less. I was using coping skills, but real healing was available to me. The same is true for you.

As I mentioned before in a previous post, I am a Christian. I believe that God sent his one and only son Jesus Christ to die on the cross in my place. I am getting ready to share something with you that may sound shocking, farfetched, and frightening. But I want you to know that you do not have to stay in your current condition.

Jesus is a healer; he healed me.

My Testimony:

I started a new position and ended up befriending one of my co-workers. He invited me to attend his Church. He began to share that his Church was a deliverance ministry. Yes, a deliverance ministry. I was a Christian, and I attended Church on most Sundays, but I was not familiar with deliverance. Deliverance means salvation, redemption, and rescue.

Let me be frank- deliverance is the process of being set free from demonic forces or demons. All of our lives are affected by the spiritual realm of light and darkness. Trauma is one of the many entryways for demonic forces to enter into our bodies and reak havoc on our lives, emotions, and mental health. Demons are powerful, but they have to submit to the authority and power of Jesus Christ.

I was afraid to attend this Church; I now understand that the demons controlled my emotions with fear. I dealt with suicidal ideations and felt like I just wanted to end it all. I did not want to live anymore. Out of desperation, I reached out to my friend, and we arranged for me to attend his Church. In hindsight, I know that God was orchestrating everything to work together for my good. I remember the night I was preparing to attend service, I was depressed, hopeless, suicidal, tormented by the memories of the past, and I felt out of control.

I arrived at the Church, we worshiped God, and it was pretty much a standard service until we transitioned into the deliverance portion. The pastor preached for a few minutes. I had never met the pastor before, and he did not know anything about me. My friend did not know my struggles, either. The pastor prayed for a few people, and the power of the Holy Spirit forced demons to loose people from bondage. I was standing at the altar, and the pastor placed his hand on my forehead the power of the Holy Spirit was so strong that I fell to the floor- I received deliverance from suicide, the pain of abuse, mental torment from the abuse, depression, and the fear of abuse. Those demons had to submit to the power of God, and I was set free! I want the same for you!

That night the Lord healed and delivered me and changed my life forever. I am sharing this with you because I want you to know that the same deliverance power is available to you. You do not have to let your past destroy your life. I am a living example of what God can do if we allow him. If you have any questions, please email me at unveiledfacesmovement@gmail.com. 

I would love to pray for you and lead you to the Church that God uses to heal and restore the lives of so many women like you and me.

Be Blessed. God loves you!

I hope you’re doing well.

I have been thinking about ‘emotions.’ Emotions can be tricky because sometimes we are in bondage to our feelings, and other times we need to allow ourselves to feel with the intention to heal.

This week I had to face some hard emotions about my past. It was painful, but I surrendered those feelings to God, and he helped me walk through the feelings I was experiencing. I would like to believe that I am 100% healed from the trauma I experienced as a child, but I understand that healing takes place in stages. For instance, God delivered me from anxiety; I no longer need to sleep with a weighted blanket to feel safe. On the other hand, I’m still learning how to trust people and deciding what role I want them to play in my life.

We have to remember that healing is not linear; this understanding reduces the risk of perfectionism. Understanding how the healing process works can give us a sense of relief, as we make decisions to move forward and actively take our lives back. A life well-lived is not a perfect life. Life will never be perfect, but healing is available.

I encourage you to cry out to God in all honesty. Confess your emotions and feelings, and allow God to comfort you when you need it the most. Allow God to heal your innermost broken parts. I promise he will meet you where you are. Please don’t be ashamed of your struggles. Release it into His loving care today.

Psalms 34:18 says, The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

God cares about you, and he loves you more than your mind could ever comprehend. Allow his love to heal you. Draw near to him, and he will draw near to you.

Be blessed! God loves you.

We spend a lot of time and energy healing and recovering from our past. Trauma work is hard and draining. I can remember feeling like I was on autopilot going through the motions of life, but I did not know myself.

How well do you know yourself? Have you reached a place where you no longer pretend to be who you thought you had to be? I purchased a self-discovery journal. The journal has 121 thought-provoking questions for you to ask yourself. Some of the questions are uncomfortable, but they make you think on a deeper level.

Here are a few questions from the journal:

1. What are your safest memories?
2. Do you like people?
3. Do you believe in God?
4. Do you hate anyone?
5. If you lost everything, what would you do, and where would you go?
6. What are the things that make you feel safe?

I highly recommend this self-discovery journal. I am learning new things about myself, and I want the same for you.  Be honest; there are no right or wrong answers.

Enjoy your self-discovery process!

Be blessed. God loves you.